I can sum up last night’s True Blood finale in three words: What. The. Fuck.

The finale was cleanly split into two parts, but left viewers with a LOT of questions. (Now trending on the internet: where the f**k is Eric Northman?). I reassured several fellow Truebies last night that yes, there will be a season 7, and no, no one has announced Alexander Skarsgard’s departure from the series.

Last night had Sookie in the midst of a power struggle for her fairy vagina. Again. Warlow, without much provocation, attempts to force Sookie to become his fairy vampire bride and his blood slave for all eternity. Really, Sookie? Really??? You didn’t see this one coming after your fairy grandfather got thrown into a hell dimension trying to protect you from him? Your idiocy astounds me.

Not everything is sunshine and roses in the fae dimension. Those flowerly laurels can also be used to tie yo ass up, Sook.