While we are gaining insight into the intimate moments of our characters’ lives, time is moving very slowly in the Walking Dead universe and it seems as if we are looking at the quarry herd parade from numerous angles, our only reprieve from that story, an insightful peek into Morgan’s history. This week, I’m recapping two episodes in one post, people, so keep up.

Spoilers ahead, Sweetie…

It’s done. It’s over. True Blood is no more. My previous rant on the characterization of Sookie has pretty much summed up my feelings on the final season of the vampire soap opera, so here is where the finale has left our beloved citizens of Bon Temps.

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  • Adilyn Bellefleur: Alive. Fairy. Presumably still boinking her step-brother.
  • Andy Bellefleur: Alive. Engaged to Holly Cleary. Father of one fairy daughter.
  • Arlene Bellefleur: Alive. Owner of Bellefleur’s (formerly Merlotte’s). In a relationship with Keith the vampire.
  • Willa Burrell: Alive. Not that anyone cares.
  • Holly Cleary: Alive. Engaged to Andy Bellefleur.
  • Maxine Fortenberry: Deceased.
  • Ginger: Alive. Finally had sex with Eric Northman.
  • Alcide Herveux: Deceased.
  • Sam Merlotte: Alive. No longer a resident of Bon Temps.
  • Sarah Newlin: Alive. Current occupation: vampire sippy cup.
  • Steve Newlin: Deceased. Currently residing in his ex-wife’s hallucinations.
  • LaFayette Reynolds: Alive. Dating Jess’s vampy ex.
  • Lettie Mae Thornton: Alive.
  • Tara Thornton:  Deceased.
  • Violet: Deceased.

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Is it cold of me to list statistics for an ensemble cast and not give you the closure that the characters deserve? Probably, but don’t blame me. The list above are the characters who didn’t appear or appeared in short duration in Sunday’s finale episode.

Sorry, secondary characters, you met the True Death before the show did.

So what about those characters who did appear in last night’s episode? Did they get satisfactory endings?

Yes and no.