by The Collected Mutineer

I’ve written about Robin Hood retellings on this blog in the past, particularly about why The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) is by far my favorite movie adaptation of the classic folk tale. If you’re familiar with my thespian rantings, then you also know that the story of Robin Hood has been retold approximately 70 times for film and television audiences. Each retelling attempts to bring its own magic, bravado, and nuances to the heroic antics of a man who robs the rich to feed the poor. At least, they try to—some more convincingly than others. So does the newest adaptation starring Taron Egerton and Jamie Foxx hit its mark? In short, they didn’t load the arrow correctly and managed to shoot themselves in the foot.

**this review is relatively spoiler-free**

So far this season, our heroes and villains have been to Camelot and back. Emma remains the Dark One, while her friends and family try desperately to regain their memories and help her turn away from the path of Darkness. In a twist of fate, Regina and Rumple are the heroes they never thought they would be, while the former savior and the famed King of Camelot have both fallen to evil and conniving thoughts. Merida is kicking ass and taking names, while the fate of the town may yet rest again on Henry’s young shoulders.

Spoilers ahead, dearies.

Hollywood loves a remake. They really do. Sometimes, these movies turn out better than the originals did. But most of the time, I find myself cringing. Take the news of the remake of the classic 1960 film The Magnificent Seven, for example.

via WiffleGif
via WiffleGif

No joke, ^this^ was me. Don’t get me wrong, I love Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt, but how can you possibly replace Yul Brynner in a black cowboy hat?

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Steve McQueen and Yul Brynner in The Magnificent Seven, via The Red List

That’s right, you can’t.

(Before anyone comments, yes, I am aware that The Magnificent Seven is itself a remake of Seven Samurai. Am I a hypocrite? A little, because Yul.)

At any rate, I could talk for days about the original films that I far prefer to their remakes, but I have narrowed it down to five.

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S08xE02 “Into the Dalek”

While I spent the last year or so really, truly excited for the new Doctor, I’m beginning to feel a bit of a let down with series 8. The writing (MOFFAT, I defended you!) has been lackluster and the plot almost nonexistent. Although the Collectress has encouraged me to rant my frustrations, I’m still giving the new Doctor and the new series a chance, and therefore will save my judgements for at least a few weeks from now. There are a few things that interest me in regards to the over arching storyline, so that’s where we will begin.

Spoilers ahead, sweetie!

The Doctor and the Military

Throughout his 12 regenerations, the Doctor has had a tenuous history with military forces. While he and Brigadeer Lethbridge-Stewart remained friends through numerous regenerations, the Doctor is wary of the armed forces, for obvious reasons. He is an alien with a spaceship that contains the technology and history of, not only the Timelords, but the entire universe across space and time. UNIT, as well as other military forces the Doctor has encountered over the years, continuously attempts to exert power over the Doctor, his property and his friends. As Nine and then Ten, the Doctor is suspicious and somewhat rude to soldiers, working with UNIT only when Martha or Rose asks for his help. When he does help the military, it often turns into a standoff, with his TARDIS confiscated and his life threatened by soldiers with guns. Eleven was a softer Doctor and, while he didn’t volunteer his help, he often worked with the military because of River Song and her connection to the Papal Mainframe. At the end of his life, Eleven may have become more than disillusioned by the idea of the military, because of the tense situation on Trenzalore. Soldiers on both sides had a complete disregard for the innocent lives lost in the town of Christmas, while the innocents are the precise people the Doctor is always trying to save. With both sides, the Daleks and the Papal Mainframe, fighting against the Doctor right before his regeneration into Twelve, his personality seems to have taken a dark turn in terms of how he feels about soldiers.

In “A Good Man Goes to War”, the Doctor meets a soldier who dies protecting Amy and baby Melody, a soldier who joined the army to meet him and with whom he inspired when she was a child. Eleven takes the time to talk with her, he doesn’t immediately judge her for her military ties, instead giving her a chance to prove herself as an individual. For him, this is enough to invite her to run with him once again, but, alas, she dies and her chance is lost. Twelve shows us that he is not as forgiving as he once was. In “Into the Dalek”, he meets a soldier who seems to have a good heart. He saves Journey Blue and even works with her team to heal a “sick” Dalek (Who subsequently turns evil as soon as he is healed, leading the Doctor to articulate that a kind Dalek is a sick Dalek. I thought we already knew this?) but, once the adventure is over, refuses to allow Journey to travel with him, even though she proved herself to be worthy. Twelve believes Journey made the decision as to what kind of person she wanted to be as soon as she joined the military. Meaning, Twelve may not believe in second chances as his former regenerations once did. If this bias against the military remains strong in him, Twelve and Clara may have a problem soon enough, because it seems she’s met herself an army man.