After watching Toy Story 4 the other day, I’ve definitely had the theme of friendship on my mind. Buzz and Woody’s friendship has made us laugh, and cry, for almost 25 years, and I can’t help but think that Toy Story was a movie that showed me what being a real friend means. 

Friends Don’t Always Get Along

This may be a weird place to start a motivational post…but here we are. When I was really young, I thought the best relationships were always happy and picture-perfect. As a child, I thought the epitome of friendship was Tigger and Winnie the Pooh, until I saw Toy Story. Woody and Buzz don’t get along initially, and even after they become friends, they bicker, they argue, and they disagree.

They are friendship goals.

Now that I’m older (and hopefully wiser) I’ve realized that the friends that you need are the ones who challenge you, who push you to be a better person. And if you disagree on something, it’s a good time to learn compromise and also how to apologize and forgive.

These all sound like things we should have learned in childhood, but if I’ve learned anything about being a grown-up (ugh, I’m a grown-up), it’s that the people I respect the most are the ones that know how to apologize. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but maybe cute Pixar animation helped me learn it a long time ago.

I’ve also learned that the best friends are the ones that aren’t afraid to call you out on your sh*t. It’s not easy to do, but a good friend will always want you to be the best version of yourself, even if that means talking about the difficult stuff.

Friends Help Each Other

Again…this kind of seems like a no-brainer, but it took me a long time to learn it, and sometimes I feel like I’m still learning it. Throughout their many years of friendship, Buzz and Woody continually help each other rescue other toys–and sometimes each other–and keep the rest of the toy box in line. It’s just what they do. They know that they can depend on each other.

If you’re having a rough time, know which friends you can call. Know who you can depend on to lend a hand. It doesn’t matter how long (or short) the list may be, as long as you surround yourself with people who will support you and help you without keeping a count of who owes who what…I hope that makes sense. Let me rephrase: friendship is not quid pro quo. Buzz and Woody knew that, and so should we.

Friends Want What IS Best For Each Other

No spoilers for Toy Story 4. here, but let’s just say that Buzz and Woody have the kind of friendship where they truly want what is best for each other, even if it means that things have to change.

Friendships don’t always stay the same. As we become grown-ups (ugh), our responsibilities change. Our lives change. We get new jobs, get married, have kids, etc. We don’t stay in the same place for our entire lives, and that means that what we need from our friendships can also change. I used to see a friend of mine nearly every day, but because our lives have changed, I know that I won’t see her for months at a time sometimes.  It’s not a bad thing; our lives keep us busy, but we know that for the important stuff, we’ve got each other’s backs. Just like Buzz and Woody.