By The Nerdling
Situations go from bad, to worse, to insane for our trio as the season nears its end.
Spoilers for what Humperdoo would do
“I’d rather be sad”
Cassidy may be a self-hating vampire, but he takes his loathing out on himself. Which is why he is so sickened by Eccarius making, then destroying the innocent souls populating Les Enfants du Sang. Cassidy threatens to tell the others what Eccarius has been doing with those he (and now Cassidy) have turned. Eccarius attempts to convince Cassidy they are “this close to happiness.” Cassidy is locked inside his coffin when he rejects Eccarius’s view.
Eccarius might have genuine feelings for Cassidy, but the vampire desires power more. When Cassidy escapes his coffin to warn the vampire wannabes, he finds Les Enfants have turned against him. Even sweet Mrs. Rosen. Cassidy is nailed to the pool table, crucifixion style, and left to think about his choices while the room fills with sunlight. He makes one last request to Mrs. Rosen while the others are out, call Lisa in Poland and tell her he is sorry.
The Bus to Hell
Just as Sidney and Lara are about to board, Tulip arrives and gets the suitcase full of souls back. Tulip’s cover is blown when Eugene recognizes her from the bus. She tries to make a run for it, but can you really escape the Angel of Death? Unable to just sit back and wait for Hitler’s friends to arrive and save them all, Tulip opens the maintenance panel and drops Eugene and Hitler’s chains into the drive shaft.
The plan fails, but Tulip refuses to give up. She taunts The Saint into hitting her so hard, she creates some cracks in the bus’s window. Just as Hitler is preparing to jump out of the busted-out window, his friends arrive with a tank and blow the bus onto its side.
“Hipsters. Presbyterians. Trade Unionists. The Danes”
Out of options, Jesse confesses to the Allfather Starr placed a gun in his jacket pocket and has been planning to betray the Grail. Allfather revels that Starr “shall know my buttocks as few men ever have” (are we not doing phrasing anymore?). Jesse’s last request before his pending death is to kneel before his Lord and die a Christian. Allfather releases him from most of his restrains and gives him a chance to pray before pressing the button to shock Genesis out of the preacher.
The Allfather receives a big shock of his own when he presses the button. Jesse placed the shocker on the Grail leader and takes advantage of the distraction. During the fray, Jesse injects the Allfather with the failed Louis/Williams formula, then shocks Genesis into the Allfather. Jesse manages to get some cover before the room is redecorated with the insides of the Allfather.
Starr returns just as Jesse’s soul shard is very noisily released from the disembodied sphincter of the Allfather. Jesse is in full possession of this soul once again and refusing to become the new Messiah. Starr threatens to carry out Allfather’s plan anyways, but Jesse knows just how to stop that as well. No Messiah, no need for an apocalypse.
Unable to kill sweet and innocent Humperdoo to keep the Grail’s plans from coming to fruition, the preacher instead dresses the 17th descendant of Jesus Christ in the same track suit as the clones and releases a barrel of Messiahs upon streets of New Orleans.
Jesse commands a ride back to Angelville from a passing fire truck.
The finale will either be seriously epic or super disappointing after two episodes of set up for some pretty high stakes.
The bickering Hitler and Eugene was worth the annoyance for Hitler to quip “it’s a free country” when Eugene tells him to shut up. Just priceless.
The Saint found out both Eugene and Tulip are not dead, but are still being taken to hell. This doesn’t seem to sit right with him which is fascinating and leads to Sidney calling him Pollyanna. He may not have a soul, but he still has a code. Fingers crossed this leads to a team up between Eugene and The Saint I have been hoping for these last few episodes!
It is strange Jody seems to feel a bit guilty over Tulip’s fate. Is there more to this Jody than meets the eye?!?
I honestly didn’t think Preacher could outdo itself with the exploding Humperdoo clones as “Blue Danue” plays. This episode proved me wrong when Starr and Jesse wrestled around in the Allfather’s entrails to the tune of “Joy to the World”.
Jesse’s commanding Starr “no more hats” was cruel. Now the defeated, but not done, Starr has to make due with wigs.
At least he has Lara and Hoover by his side once again. But who knows how long Hoover will remain there after confessing his new “lifestyle change.”
Till next week, watch out for the Humperdoos!
The Nerdling was born in the majestic land known as Texas and currently resides there after several years of journeying through Middle Earth in a failed attempt to steal the one Ring from that annoying hobbit, serving the Galactic Empire for a time, and then a short stint as a crew member on the Serenity. Since moving back to her homeland, Nerdling flirted with a hero reputation. Saving children from the dangers of adoring domineering, sparkly vampires (champions with souls are the only vampires worth loving) and teaching normals the value of nerdom, all while rooting for her beloved Dallas Stars. Then came the Sokovia Accords and her short spell of saving others came to an end. With Darth Vader’s reputation rightfully returning to badass status, Nerdling is making her way back to the Empire. They do have cookies, you know. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.