By The Nerdling
All of the plots ramp up into what is going to be a crazy final two episodes for the season.
Spoilers for Religion’s ultimate secret weapon
Death by Bees
Hoover’s latest plan to capture Cassidy has him posing as an Uber driver to follow his vampire marks. As he is psyching himself up to charge inside the Enfants’s house with a UV lamp, he finds his car surrounded by Eccarius, Cassidy, and the rest of the children.
Cassidy sends Herr Starr photos of the hostage Hoover with threats of killing him. Starr gives to okay to get rid of the incompetent employee, much to Hoover’s shock. The children and Cassidy debate how to kill the Grail operative when Eccarius steps in and decides Hoover is to be offered a choice. Die or be turned. Hoover chooses to become a vampire, even though he will never be able to walk along the beach during the day again, because his “mom would be upset.”
After being turned, Eccarius quickly shuffles Hoover out the door to fulfill his “mission”. Using the same speech and Don Giovani piece, Eccarius goes for the kill. He is interrupted by Cassidy after finding Lisa’s bloody neck pillow in the trash and realized where Eccarius’s powers really come from. Hoover escapes when Cassidy is knocked out by the older and stronger vampire.
Dealings with the Devil
Using their cover as HR holding a sexual harassment seminar, Tulip, Lara, and Jody steal an access badge form the chairman of Happy Soul Go Go. Tulip and Lara go to the vault while Jody makes quick work of the guards. Lara hooks up her computer to hack into the vault, but Tulip gets them in faster using gum and a pick. They fill their briefcase with souls and fly back to New Orleans, no problems.
Marie has the same nightmare. The souls she has consumed are waiting for her in hell. Not wanting to face her demons in the afterlife, Marie calls the devil using the one-way phone in her parlor. The Prince of Darkness arrives in Angelville and Marie presents him with a new deal. Instead of going to Hell and fulfill her previous one, she offers Tulip in her place. In return, Marie will tell him where Genesis is. The Devil sends Sidney, the Angel of Death, to retrieve Tulip.
Landing in New Orleans, Sidney approaches Tulip asking if she is the brunet dressed as a Grail operative returning from Osaka Sidney is looking for. Thinking Sidney is the police, Tulip uses the badge she stole to fool the Angel. Tulip does point Sidney to another brunet dressed as a Grail operative arriving from Osaka, Lara.
Tulip hops in the car with a very confused Jody (he was alerted to Marie’s deal before leaving Japan) and realizes she took Lara’s briefcase with the computer. Lara has the case with all of the souls. Jody confesses the truth of Marie’s deal to Tulip. Lara, not realizing she is being taken to hell, arrives at a bus stop where The Saint, Eugene, and Hitler are waiting for their ride as well. Hitler uses Lara’s phone to call one of his followers and alert him to his situation.
Thomas Jefferson and Wayne Brady
At the Grail headquarters, Jesse makes quick work of several Grail operatives and shoots the Allfather in the chest. There is so much fat in between the surface and his organs, the Allfather easily survives the bullet wound. Trapped by more arriving guards and a terrified Starr, Jesse is strapped to a gurney. Starr attempts to help Jesse out by covertly hiding a gun in the preacher’s jacket pocket, but since his hands are tied down, there is no way he can reach it.
The Grail has developed a way of extracting Genesis from Jesse and up load it to Humperdoo. But just as Jesse expected, Genesis found the inbred, decedent of Jesus Crist unworthy and exploded the poor guy. Jesse is super smug at first, he knows he was chosen for this power. And he is not wrong. He was selected because Genesis is a mixture of both good and evil being a child of an angel and a demon. Jesse is considered worthy because he is also a mixture of both good and evil.
Grail Scientists has been mixing up DNA cocktails of people (past and present) who represent good and evil in man, then inject the concoctions into Humperdoo clones. The clone rejected by Genesis had the mixture of Serena Williams and Louis XVI. After many clones and mixtures have failed, the Grail finally finds the correct mixture in Thomas Jefferson and Wayne Brady. The clone is executed, sending Genesis back to Jesse, and the real Humperdoo is readied.
There are so many irons in the fire for the last two episodes. This week’s episode felt a bit too frenetic attempting to set everything up.
I am not looking forward to the scene where Jesse or Starr has to go up the Allfather’s derrière to retrieve Jesse’s soul shard.
Watching cloned decedents of Christ explode many times over to the tune of ‘Blue Danube’ is peak Preacher.
Religion’s ultimate weapon is science which makes since the church villainizes it so much. Wouldn’t want the rest of the world to have the powers the Grail does.
Cassidy thinks The Wicker Man remake is a “brilliant film” and I really hope he means it is so awful it is awesome kind of things.
I still believe Eccarius has feelings for Cassidy as evidence by how concerned he was for his friend after knocking him out. Of course, those feelings may take a back seat to his craving for the power slaughtering other vampires give him.
The Tulip/Lara/Jody team up was too short. Here is hoping the journey to save Lara from Hell keeps the three of them together longer.
Till Next Week!
The Nerdling was born in the majestic land known as Texas and currently resides there after several years of journeying through Middle Earth in a failed attempt to steal the one Ring from that annoying hobbit, serving the Galactic Empire for a time, and then a short stint as a crew member on the Serenity. Since moving back to her homeland, Nerdling flirted with a hero reputation. Saving children from the dangers of adoring domineering, sparkly vampires (champions with souls are the only vampires worth loving) and teaching normals the value of nerdom, all while rooting for her beloved Dallas Stars. Then came the Sokovia Accords and her short spell of saving others came to an end. With Darth Vader’s reputation rightfully returning to badass status, Nerdling is making her way back to the Empire. They do have cookies, you know. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.