As we continue our epic CollectiveSmash Star Trek rewatch (which picks up with the 2009 reboot on January 7), we decided to keep with tradition and play a little game called Snog, Marry, BFF with three of our favorite characters. You may also know this by the name of Fuck, Marry, Kill! Let us know if you agree, disagree or have anything to say about our choices in the comments below.
Fuck, Marry or Kill…Captain Kirk, Spock, or Dr. McCoy?
SNOG: Spock. Gotta see if I can get him to show some emotion, ya know?
MARRY: McCoy. We’d argue a lot but probably have a super domestic relationship with a meatloaf night, doilies on the coffee table, and whiskey in our tea.
BFF: Well, I guess I can be frenemies with Kirk. Keep your enemies close and all that.
SNOG: I’d snog Spock because he’s Vulcan and undoubtedly has good technique. He’s probably practiced a lot…for science.
MARRY: Ok, I’m going rogue here and abandoning those options because I’m queer and I do what I want. I’d marry Uhura because she’s beautiful, and let’s face it, she’s clearly the smartest human on the bridge.
I mean…look at her. Gorgeous, smart, and resourceful. I’m so in love.
BFF: McCoy, because obviously he’d have the best booze. I’d invite myself over to his and Diva’s place to steal their whiskey and grouse about those ungrateful youngsters and their youtube videos.
The Collected Mutineer
SNOG: Okay, I have to satisfy 8-year-old me and go with Kirk. I had a huge crush on Shatner when I was kid. And I still totally have a thing for Chris Pine, so yeah. I’d snog the fuck outta him.
MARRY: I think that Spock and I would have adorable children. Imagine little kids with his ears and my curly hair?! We could dress them as hobbits and it would be really freaking cute.
BFF: Obviously McCoy and I have the same sense of literally everything. We would have a great time tearing everyone else to absolute shreds with our flawless wit and observation skills.