Written by The Nerdling

Herr Starr continues to entice Jesse into working with him.  Eugene and Hitler scheme to escape Hell.

Spoilers on the road to God

Failed Tests and Prayer Tapes

Jesse and Tulip have a tow company fish the armored truck Jesse trapped the Saint within from the swamp.  When the doors open, the Saint is not inside.  To calm the fears of Cassidy and Tulip, Jesse thinks they should go on vacation to Bemini (sunscreen has come a long way and Cassidy is very enthusiastic about topless beaches).  Eager for a new start, Tulip, Cassidy, Denis, and Denis’ new dog start packing.  But Jesse has the group pump the breaks.  The vacation is for after they find God.

Tulip and Cassidy are not happy over this pronouncement.  Cassidy lost his fingers and Tulip can’t sleep because of their encounter with the Saint and now he is loose.  They question what Jesse gave up and he says nothing of the 1% of his soul he sacrificed.  In the middle of the argument, Jesse realizes he did find God.

Seeing Denis’ dog triggered a memory of Humperdoo’s drawings and the first jazz club the trio visited in New Orleans.  Jesse had asked the bartender if he had seen God and he sent them to the backroom.  There they met a person dressed in a dog suit and were presented with an array of sex toys.  Thinking back, Jesse realizes god was person inside the dog suit and didn’t recognize him.  Jesse rushes back to the club (Cassidy and Tulip refuse to go with him), but the backroom is empty.  God had tested him, and he failed.

Jesse goes to Herr Starr to question if he knew, but he is also in the dark about God’s backroom shenanigans.  Starr again presses Jesse into taking over as the Messiah.  Jesse continues to refuse.  Then Starr pulls out the big guns.  All of Jesse’s prayers on tape.  Starr thinks Jesse is obsessed with finding God because he wants forgiveness for his many, many sins.  The Grail executive thinks a grand gesture like the one he is offering will absolve Jesse of his sins.  The preacher tells where Starr can shove the prayers and storms out of the Grail headquarters.

But something slightly strange happens as he is leaving.  Jesse commands an assistant to let him out of the office, but the assistant resisted in order to check on the distressed Starr.  It takes Jesse a couple more tries before the assistant finally buzzes him down.

As Starr is fulfilling Jesse’s command, he calls Hoover who has been with the Saint.  Hoover makes sure the Saint understands their deal and runs as fast as he can from the freed killer.

Plum Cakes Start WWII

Back in Hell, the warden is continuing her search for the wrongfully dammed person by showing them various images and monitoring their reactions.  Thinking it is his last night in Hell, Tyler has the caveman cover the camera watching them while he, Eugene, and Hitler go to visit the dictator’s cell.  Tyler and Eugene witness Hitler reliving his worst memory.  After he is told his artwork “lacks conviction” by an art expert, Hitler cowers at a chance to stand up to a group of communists trashing the restaurant he and his girlfriend are dining at.  This spurs his girlfriend to dump him for another man.  To top it off, the last plum cake is given to a Jewish man and Hitler doesn’t like strudel.

Eugene questions him later about it and Hitler explains it was “the last day that I was good.  That was the moment I lost myself.”  Hitler assures he and Eugene are going to escape right then as the boy is called into the warden’s office to take the test.  The Fuhrer has the other cell mates sing “Michael row your boat ashore” to get the warden out of her office while he sneaks in.  The escape door out of Hell is in in the hole.  Both Eugene and Hitler jump in before the warden notices they are gone.

Thoughts

I’ve never had plum cake so I guess I don’t understand, but true German strudel with cream is AMAZING! How can Hitler not like strudel?

Tulip and Cassidy are mostly sidelined in “Backdoors”.  Cassidy is slowly realizing the evil nature of Denis.  Tulip takes Jeanie (a.k.a. Laura Featherstone) to a smelter to have the Saints guns and sword melted down, but the weapons are indestructible.

Jeanie subtlety pushes Tulip to not forgive Jesse for his lies, but Tulip says she understands her lover’s actions and is on her way to forgiving him once again.  The Grail is underestimating how deep the bond is between those two.  But I’m willing to bet once Jesse finds out Tulip and Cassidy had sex, he is going to fly off the handle.

We get a small glimpse into Jesse’s life after the death of his father (one of the things Jesse prays for).  His grandmother kept him locked in a coffin-like box at the bottom of the same swamp he submerged the Saint in until Jesse dropped the name Custer for L’Angelle.  Then she had him thank God for killing his father and sending him to her.  Both the plea and thanks for his father’s death can be heard on the prayer tape.

With so much needing to be wrapped up in only two more episodes, I’m thinking Jesse’s past is going to be saved for season three.

It was interesting hearing Jesse pray for forgiveness for not eating his veggies, falling asleep in church, touching himself, and his many crimes (including murder) all dispersed throughout the tape, moving back and forth between young, teen, and older Jesse.

What deal do you think Hoover struck with the Saint?

Till Next Week!

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The Nerdling was born in the majestic land known as Texas and currently resides there after several years of journeying through Middle Earth in a failed attempt to steal the one Ring from that annoying hobbit, serving the Galactic Empire for a time, and then a short stint as a crew member on the Serenity. Since moving back to her homeland, Nerdling flirted with a hero reputation. Saving children from the dangers of adoring domineering, sparkly vampires (champions with souls are the only vampires worth loving) and teaching normals the value of nerdom, all while rooting for her beloved Dallas Stars. Then came the Sokovia Accords and her short spell of saving others came to an end. With Darth Vader’s reputation rightfully returning to badass status, Nerdling is making her way back to the Empire. They do have cookies, you know. You can find her on Twitter @nerdlingstale.