By The Nerdling
Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy embark on the search for God and leave behind a trail of bodies in their wake.
Spoilers on the Road to God, Beware…
“Come on Eileen”
The great American road trip to find God starts off with a rant from Cassidy about the many uses of foreskin, an 80’s classic song that will get stuck in your head like an earwig, and a car chase with the Texas State Troopers. A day in the life of Jesse Custer it seems. The car chase is cut short when Tulip’s Chevelle runs out of gas. Jesse is not concerned, he has the ultimate get out of jail free card in Genesis. In the midst of having various troopers hold hands or sing “The Yellow Rose of Texas,” a hail of bullets rain down upon the group, bloodily taking out the troopers one by one. Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy manage to just barely escape after Tulip uses entrails to syphon gas into her car. While none of the trio get a look at who was firing upon them, it is clear to us the Saint of Killers is hot on their trail.
After an over-night stop at a fellow preacher’s house, Jesse learns of a strip club owner named Tammy and her encounter with God. Jesse and Tulip question Tammy at the She She’s Club while Cassidy gets handsy with a stripper in a private room. Jesse wants to use Genesis to make Tammy answer his questions, but Tulip misses the old way of beating the information out of people. She feels Genesis is like mind-rape and doesn’t want Jesse to use it. Cassidy’s inappropriate ways with the stripper and a fight with the bouncer makes the debate about Genesis moot. The bouncer accidentally shoots Tammy forcing Jesse to compel Tammy into telling him God was in her club for the Jazz with her dying breath.
At a hotel hosting the Greater Association of Gun Aficionados, Jesse and Tulip have the reunion we have been waiting for and unknowingly torturing Cassidy in the next room with their headboard banging. Jesse goes out for a post coital cigarette and sees a menacing figure stalking towards him. The preacher commands the figure to stop, but the Saint continues to move forward as he draws his pistol and aims as Jesse. In a stoke of crazy good luck, a truck speeds between Jesse and the Saint and the poor driver takes the bullet and crashes his truck.
The commotion wakes the horde of gun enthusiasts who rush outside armed to the teeth. Jesse commands them to take out the Saint and the group happily obliges, unloading a massive amount of led and finishing it all off with a mini-grenade launcher. But the Saint literally shakes the bullets off and proceeds to take down the group in the street and stalks the hotel in search of Jesse, killing anyone in his way. Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy escape out a window in the mass confusion and death.
The Great Ganesh
After seeing an advertisement for a “performance you will never forget”, Cassidy leads the trio to the Mumbai Sky Tower and Casino. The fallen angel, Fiore, has taken up residency there, headlining a morbid act where he continually kills himself in various grotesquely fashions then reappearing back on-stage good as new.
Fiore confesses to Jesse, Tulip, and Cassidy he and the now deceased DeBlanc hired the Saint to kill Jesse. The Saint cannot be killed, Genesis will not work on him, in fact he can track Jesse every time he uses it, and will not stop until Jesse, and subsequently Genesis, is dead.
Cassidy senses the sadness and loss in Fiore and volunteers to spend time with the angel to get him to change his mind about the Saint. The vampire’s idea of a good time comes straight out of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with drug fueled rants and bonding in hot tubs with Archie comics. While the two men connect, Jesse flash proposes to Tulip. The two wait their turn for the hotel chapel and Tulip sees a face from her past. She confronts the man, Gary, who encourages her to call someone named Viktor in New Orleans. She refuses and the two fight. Tulip takes the big man down just as Cassidy comes by the room. Cassidy promises to keep what he saw a secret from Jesse and Tulip calls off the wedding.
Getting back to the mission at hand the trio decide they need to go to New Orleans to find the jazz loving God. This could prove tricky for Tulip since Viktor is there. Fiore assures Jesse he will call off the Saint, but when Jesse commands the angel to find peace, he changes his mind. The Saint arrives at the Mumbai Sky Tower and Fiore tells him Jesse can’t be trusted to not use Genesis. He points them in their direction and asks for one more favor. Taking the stage for his performance, Fiore is shot by the Saint, making his death permanent.
I loved the prequel-like nature of the first season, but it is so much fun to see the show and the comic start to align. I really can’t wait to see some of the crazier characters come to life.
As sad as I am to see Fiore go, especially after that great bonding montage between him and Cassidy (they totally got it on, right), it was a touching send off.
Loved the confusion with the trio as to which one was Fiore and who was DeBlanc. Great meta moment for fans who were also confused.
Greater Association of Fun Aficionados = G.A.G.A. (Nice little dig at the NRA there.)
“The internet is a soul killer. Stay away from it if you can.” Too bad someone didn’t clue us into that much sooner.
Till Next Week!
The Nerdling was born in the majestic land known as Texas and currently resides there after several years of journeying through Middle Earth in a failed attempt to steal the one Ring from that annoying hobbit, serving the Galactic Empire for a time, and then a short stint as a crew member on the Serenity. Since moving back to her homeland, Nerdling flirted with a hero reputation. Saving children from the dangers of adoring domineering, sparkly vampires (champions with souls are the only vampires worth loving) and teaching normals the value of nerdom, all while rooting for her beloved Dallas Stars. Then came the Sokovia Accords and her short spell of saving others came to an end. With Darth Vader’s reputation rightfully returning to badass status, Nerdling is making her way back to the Empire. They do have cookies, you know. You can find her on Twitter @nerdlingstale.