By the Collectress

The Road So Far

Last season saw the brothers in a battle with their biggest foe yet: the Darkness. Upon reuniting the Darkness with her brother, AKA God, the brothers were able to take a long relaxing vacation…oh wait, nope. The boys never catch a break. Dean and Sam are reunited with their mother…who’s been dead for thirty-three years. Oh and Lucifer is footloose and fancy-free (with a baby on the way!) Spoilers ahead.

Synopsis

12×15 lights up on two stupid kids a young couple in love, camping in the woods before they go off to separate colleges. There’s some talk about making a long distance relationship work, and a week later I can’t think of a logical conclusion as to why they included that banal conversation if not to draw a parallel with the main characters. (Who in the main cast could be considered in a long distance relationship? Hmmmmm….)

But I digress.

Hellhounds kill the boy, but the girl escapes after injuring the hound. The Winchesters are clued in to the case by the International House of Douchebaggery the British Men of Letters, but Dean thinks that Sam has created a really nifty computer program that finds cases for them.

You had a real nifty program, Dean. His name was Ash.

I digress again.

Meanwhile, Cas is in Idaho studying the deaths of angels because, #alternativefact, we can’t get all three boys in the same place and the same time for more than seven episodes a season or the world will implode. Anyway,Castiel’s research takes him to the home/workplace of conspiracy theorists, and is it time for me to make some tinhat jokes yet? No? Okay.

Castiel is as plotless as the daytime soap Jensen once starred in until another angel shows up to give him a storyline, because we sure don’t have enough characters being defined by their f**ked up families (*side eyes*). More on that later.

Crowley shows up to help the Winchesters capture his wayward pet. Yes, that’s right. The hellhound is just a lost pup, out for blood because the girl took a swipe at it and lived to tell the tale…Hell hath no fury like a hellhound’s?

Eventually Crowley and Sam kill the hound, the boys return to the bunker, Castiel returns to heaven, and Crowley goes back to his new pet, Lucifer.

The Big Picture

A few important things happened in this episode.

1. Sam confessed to Dean that they’ve been working with the International House of Douchebaggery BMOL and Dean was surprisingly okay with it. Yes, this did happen one episode after he asked his mother to leave so…yeah. This is going to end well.
2. Castiel returns to his angel family. Don’t ask me why, because I only have snark to offer in response. The curious thing, though, is that he called Dean to say goodbye, and Dean could tell that Cas wasn’t quite right. I’m wondering if a future episode will reveal that Castiel was coerced into returning to the Heavenly Host.
3. Lucy’s vessel is his cage. The Devil’s vessel is his cage. Can you see me miming my mind exploding? Because it did. I’ve long lamented the absence of BAMF Crowley, and well, here he is, because a f**kin intelligent bastard. Now, Crowley’s short-term plan is to kill the spawn of Satan in front of, well, Satan; that’s the small picture because Crowley is a vindictive bloke. Long-term, however? Perhaps we’ll finally see that Crowley is the biggest and baddest of them all, because, hey, he’s got the Devil to do his bidding.

Until next time, SPN fam. Supernatural will return on March 30.

-TC