So far this season, our heroes and villains have been to Camelot and back. Emma is no longer the Dark One, the title having been reclaimed by Rumple. But Killian is lost to the terrors of the Underworld, and our favorite fairy tale gang is out to save him.

Spoilers ahead, dearies.

Firebird

In 2009 Maine, Emma is searching for any clues she can about her birth family. She also happens to have skipped out on her bail, and has a bounty hunter/bondswoman on her tail. Cleo Fox catches up with the delinquent, and is set on taking her back to do her time properly. Emma gets out of the handcuffs while Cleo is taking a shower, but chooses not to escape when she realizes that Cleo has access to court records and might be able to help her find some answers. Cleo agrees to take her to the courthouse to locate a folder. When the folder doesn’t contain new information, Emma is devastated. She later breaks into the courthouse, certain that there must be something else that they didn’t show her. But while she and Cleo are running from the cops, Cleo is severely injured and dies. The following year, Emma has become a bounty hunter herself, and tracks down Cleo’s biological daughter in order to tell her that her mother has passed. While speaking with Cleo’s daughter, who works in a store, Emma spots a red leather jacket that she immediately purchases, calling it her “armor” in honor of Cleo.

In the present, Hades and Zelena are preparing to open a portal to the world above in order to let the Storybrooke residents back through. Hades is supposedly trustworthy now, having kissed Zelena—his heart is beating once again and she trusts him completely. The others decide to give him a chance despite his history. Hook and Emma go down to the lowest depths of the Underworld searching for magical ambrosia that can help Hook go back to the world above, only to discover that the tree was cut down years ago. Realizing that Hades never meant for them to go home together, Hook urges Emma to leave without him as the portal will close before sundown. She agrees to his wishes, albeit unhappily. Meanwhile, Regina, Robin, David, and Henry are trapped in the library by the Blind Witch, who is under the orders of Hades. They, too, realize that Hades’s apparent change of heart is only a trick and that the only people he intends on taking to Storybrooke are Zelena and her baby daughter. They escape just in a time and make it through the portal along with Mr. Gold (who has, by the way, killed his father Peter Pan and put Belle in Pandora’s Box for safe keeping…as one does).

Last Rites

Upon returning to Storybrooke, our favorite gang finds themselves in yet another predicament. Hades is on the loose, and intent on not only causing trouble, but creating a kingdom for himself and Zelena to rule together. Upon arrival, he kills King Arthur (yeah, remember him?) to send a message to the residents of Storybrooke. He locks himself in the mayor’s office with Zelena and the baby, and tells her about his secret weapon—the Olympian Crystal, which has the power to obliterate anything or anyone. At first, Zelena objects to fighting the others, saying that she and Hades should just take the baby and go live somewhere in peace. But Hades manipulates her into thinking that fighting is the only way, as they have to protect themselves against those who wish them harm. While Emma, David, and Henry are reunited with Snow and Baby Neal, Robin and Regina sneak into the mayor’s office via a secret tunnel. They attempt to rescue the baby, only to be caught by Hades who threatens to kill Regina. Robin jumps into the path of the Crystal’s lightning, sacrificing himself for the woman he loves. Zelena arrives just in time to see him dead at her sister’s feet, and Hades once again begins weaving lies about how they broke into the office to kill him. Torn between her love for Hades and the truth told by Regina, Zelena makes a split second decision that ends in her stabbing Hades with the Crystal to end his tyranny.

Meanwhile, Arthur joins forces with Hook in the Underworld, searching for the missing information about how to defeat the god of death. Hook hasn’t been able to move on while knowing that Emma is in danger, and hopes that if he can help her in this last way, maybe he can keep his promise to go to a better place. The pair locates the missing pages and place them into the Storybook, hoping that the corresponding leaves will appear in the book above ground. Arthur stays in the Underworld, believing that perhaps this was the kingdom he was prophesied to mend, while Hook attempts to move on. Instead, Hook is rewarded by Zeus and is allowed to go back to the land of the living, where he is reunited with Emma.

While the other residents of Storybrooke are mourning the loss of Robin Hood, Mr. Gold has other priorities. He asks Belle’s father to wake her from the sleeping curse, but he refuses. Back to his old scheming ways, Mr. Gold beings to formulate a new plan, and acquires a piece of the Olympian Crytsal.

Wait, what?

Me after watching both these heartwrenching episodes:

That’s it. I don’t even have the energy to squee about Greek mythology. My hearts are shattered. Both of them.

Here, have a tissue.

Until next time, dearies.

-The Collected Mutineer