Galavant returned on Sunday night, with new songs, new guest stars, and more of Timothy Omundson’s magnificent beard. Spoilers ahead!
Episode 1— “A New Season aka Suck It Cancellation Bear” or “Off With His Shirt”
Things pick up right where they left off. Galavant and King Richard are on board the pirate ship captained by
the Earl of Grantham Peter the Pillager on their way to Richard’s kingdom. (For anyone who has forgotten, even though the majority of last season took place in the kingdom of Valencia, Richard and Madalena invaded that land; it originally belonged to Isabella’s family.) After a rousing introduction, the ship crashes near the coast, and the unlikely duo begin their trek to Richard’s castle. They quickly lose their way and end up in the Enchanted Forest—a gay bar in the middle of the woods run by a queen (Kylie Minogue). The queen (who is Joshua Sasse’s alleged real-life girlfriend) finds him rather fetching, and decides to keep the pair as slaves to work in the bar. They eventually escape with the help of Richard’s long-lost Uncle Keith, who opts to stay behind with his boyfriend Destiny.
In Valencia, Madalena is forced to acknowledge that Gareth is actually the king, having been the person who deposed the previous king. Sid doesn’t really know if he’s a hostage or a squire, but he takes a bubble bath in a bucket, and it’s really adorable. Meanwhile, in Hortensia (which is absolutely a woman’s name, and who decides what these countries get named, anyway?), Isabella is still locked up in that weird pink room. Her parents refuse to listen to her pleas, explaining that Galavant is long gone, and the engagement to her little cousin must continue. Gross.
Episode 2— “World’s Best Kiss” or “Whack-A-Serf”
In the second half of the rabble-rousing Galavant hour extravaganza, Isabella is coming up with a plan to escape her doll house prison. She begs Chef to give her amulet to her parents after she’s gone (claiming that she’s always worn it, even though none of us have seen it before) before launching into a catchy number about the one kiss she and Gal shared. Gal sings half the song, in which they both acknowledge that the kiss wasn’t actually that great.
Meanwhile, Richard and Gal locate a magician’s staff that will allow them to communicate with Isabella’s amulet. In a medieval parody of a modern phone conversation with a shitty signal, Isabella misunderstands Gal’s promises that he will stop at nothing to rescue her. She believes that he doesn’t love her anymore, and gives up on her hopes of escaping.
In an interesting twist, Richard accidentally pulls a random sword from a random stone, not realizing that it is the Hero Sword (to be claimed by the one true king). His castle is also suspiciously missing…
What We’ve Learned So Far
You can have gay characters on a fairy-tale-themed family-friendly TV show, and the world will not implode!! Fancy that.
Until next week,
The Collected Mutineer