F*ck, Marry, Kill: Star Wars Edition

Original artwork: Disney/Lucasfilm
Original artwork: Disney/Lucasfilm

This is the final week in our Star Wars rewatch and what a ride it’s been, Collectors! Today, we play a little game called Fuck, Marry, Kill with three of our favorite Star Wars characters. Let us know if you agree, disagree or have anything to say about our choices in the comments below and be sure to check out our sisters from another mister over at Keysmash blog and join us tonight as we live tweet the final installment of the Star Wars epic, Revenge of the Sith, starting at 6pm West Coast time.

Fuck, Marry or Kill…Luke Skywalker, Leia Skywalker or Han Solo?

The Spaniard

Okay here we go.
This game sucks right now, because I love these three characters immensely! I feel rather like Tom Hiddleston at an MTV slumber party. But anyway.
Fuck— Han Solo. Because who doesn’t want to get it on with that hunk of man meat? I certainly do. I’m sure that fucking Han also involves lots of feels and snarky banter.
Marry— Leia Skywalker. I can totally picture being the life partner of someone as capable and assertive as Leia. Besides, she becomes a General later, and who said I wasn’t after being a General’s wife?
Kill— Luke Skywalker. I may love Luke in the movies, but he would probably be annoying in real life. We’d probably start off fucking, or start off married, and then he would drive me so bananas that I’d shove him off a cliff. And if I have to pick between the Skywalker twins, it’s a no-brainer.

The Collectress

I’d screw Luke Skywalker because Mark Hamill was one of my first crushes, and yeah, I know Jedi are supposed to be celibate, but hey, I like to break the rules. Also I have an arsenal of lightsaber puns that are only appropriate for use in the bedroom. 😉

I’d marry Leia faster than you can say “scruffy nerfherder.” Luke may have been my first crush, but Leia is my lifelong love. She’s a General of Badassery and I kind of love the idea of ruling the galaxy with the Princess of the Rebellion. Also, have you seen her in the Coronation dress? Be still my heart.

And as for kill, I’d kill WITH Han Solo. Rumor has it that Chewy’s got a girlfriend somewhere in Canada, so I’m thinking the coolest dude in the galaxy is gonna need another sidekick. I’ve heard that there’s a nice bounty on Jar Jar Binks’ head. Whaddya say, Han? I guarantee a Gungun won’t know to shoot first.

The Collectiva Diva

I’d totally fuck Han Solo. In any universe, any age, hell, he could be roleplaying Indiana Jones for all I care, I’d still want him. Don’t tell my mom, because he is her man crush like whoa.

I’d wife the shit outta Leia. I might have a little competition here, since all three of us picked the same answer! I can see why, though. Leia is gorgeous, smart, resilient and can boss around a team of rebel spies like nobody’s business. Her and I would have a long and benevolent rule of the galaxy and perhaps even get Han in the middle of our little love sandwich every once in awhile.

Luke Skywalker is dead to me and I’m not even sorry. I mean, Leia will be devastated, but as her devoted wife, I will comfort her through this time of loss. I agree with the Spaniard–his whining gets pretty annoying after a while and I would definitely shoot first.


Are you ready for Star Wars: The Force Awakens? We count down to the new installment of the series this week and wait patiently for the Collectress’ review of the film to post on release day, Friday, December 18. Are you going to go see it? Tell us in the comments what your Star Wars plans are for next week!

xoxo

C. Diva

Joining in the rebellion over on Twitter and Tumblr.

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4 thoughts

  1. Ooh y’all went with the x-rated version. I dig.

    We were going to do Snog/Marry/BFF and then we found out that Meg and I are the only people in the OT5 excited about Star Wars. (I know. I was devastated too.)

    Needless to say I’d snog (or fuck) Han Solo, marry Luke, and BFF Leia. I just cannot turn my back on Luke Skywalker!

      1. Oh man. Okay, I’ll play both ways.

        Fuck: Han. Childhood wet dream right there can I get an AMEN.
        Marry: Leia. No brainer.
        Kill: I can’t kill any of them. I’ve been trying to think of a creative response to this for like 10 minutes and I just…can’t.

        Snog: Han. Duh.
        Marry: Still Leia.
        BFF: CHEWY.

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