Supernatural Snark Fest: “Dark Dynasty”

 

Screenshot 2014-10-15 09.49.19

Episode 10×21 Or “The One Where Cas Babysits Rowena and Charlie”

So far this season: Dean’s been cured from demonism; Crowley was his BFF; Cas was losing his grace until Crowley saved him; and Sam has done his best to reign in Dean’s homicidal tendencies. Claire Novak has also reappeared and swears she doesn’t need a father figure. Cain has confirmed that there is no cure for the Mark. And Crowley has a mother? Spoilers ahead.

episode does not exist

Wait, what? This episode doesn’t exist? What do you mean?

Obviously, this blog is malfunctioning. Here, let me try my recap again.

episode does not exist

I don’t understand, Supernatural. How could this episode not exist? I mean, it had a disgustingly graphic murder of a woman in the first 2 and a half minutes? There were eyeballs, a la Jeepers Creepers! AND a creepy murder family that’s half-Corleone/half-Duck Dynasty.

C’mon, Supernatural, how could it not exist? Alright, let me try again. Dear Chuck, please let my recap work now…please?

episode does not exist

But, Chuck, I don’t understand! Sam was lying to Dean; Cas was lying to Dean; Charlie was lying to Dean…it was like an episode of Days of Our Lives, but with more white man pain and less badly-timed elevator music. And, much like a soap opera, Rowena still magically possessed perfect hair and makeup even after weeks of captivity! And, another minor character death at 17:44! C’mon, TPTB, I want to tell our readers all about it!

I want to write about how Charlie and Rowena can’t get along because too much estrogen in a room automatically leads to catty remarks and temper tantrums. I want to write about how, logically, it makes so much sense for Dean to fire a gun in the open air when he’s “laying low” or how the [Franken]Stynes are so willing to discuss their nefarious plans when they have one arm chained to the basement wall. I want to write about how Sam’s a really, really terrible liar, even though he’s been in the habit for damn near most of his life, and, seriously, let’s talk about how Crowley’s new sidekick is a hamster.

Okay, so with all that to commend it, let’s talk about “Dark Dynasty.”

episode does not exist

The episode still doesn’t exist? How ironic. The episode doesn’t exist, and now neither does SPN’s LGBT representation. I mean, c’mon, let’s talk about the assumed death of Supernatural’s one canonically queer character and how the writing didn’t even let us mourn a fan-favourite that many of us identify with because of her sassy nerdiness. Let’s chat about the show’s tendency to treat women as (1) disposable, (2) sexual objects, or (3) incapable of interacting with other women in productive ways.

And can we, for the love of Chuck, talk about Sam’s OOC obsession with junk food in this episode? Please?

episode does not exist

Chuck damn it.  I give up.

Until next week, hunters. For now, I leave you with some true Felicia Day feels

-The Collectress

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