Supernatural Snark Fest: “The Things They Carried”

 

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Episode 10×15 or “Blah blah blah Khan worms blah”

Sorry, Collectors, I was a little bored this week, and so my review is going to be fortified with a little thing I like to call sarcasm. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, I promised snark, didn’t I?

Synopsis

The episode begins a montage of Sam saying “I don’t know.” I didn’t know we needed that montage, but hey, it sets the a good tone for an episode in which I don’t know what’s going on. There’s footage of a murdered woman that feels unnecessary and, well…

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The boys take a break from researching the Mark of Cain to track the killer to a military town. There’s been a series of murder/suicides in the town, all of which have been from the same military unit. Cole shows up and insists on helping with the hunt, because, hey, one run in with the Winchesters makes him really useful, right? He’s got, like, necessary military skills or whatever. His connections to some of the victims are helpful, but his immediate familiarity with the Winchesters (“Dean-o”? Really?) is off-putting and artificial. Which begs the question, why?

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So there’s some kind of parasite that leaves you dying of thirst and then later a raging homicidal maniac that requires blood and bone marrow to survive? Call me crazy, but didn’t we see this in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan? Oh, that’s right. We did. In fact, not once in the episode is the mysterious monster named OR researched (this doesn’t sound very Winchestery).

I wonder if the writer was just like…

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In the end, it wasn’t the mysterious Khan worms or random montages or the pointless reappearance of Cole that set this episode up to be one of SPN’s most underwhelming; it was the complete and utter disinterest I had in watching more white man pain. The Winchesters themselves give us a heavy dose of angst on a weekly basis, but after ten years, I care a little bit more about their white man pain they say, Cole and his military friends. The stilted dialogue between the characters did little to bring forth my empathy, and I was left wondering if the entire point of the episode was to prove to Cole that there’s a monster in all of us.

But, wait, why do we care about proving things that the Winchesters already know to Cole?

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The heavy-handed parallels that I hate so much appeared again when Dean tells Cole that he needs to fight the inner monster and hold on and keep fighting and blah friggin blah. To be honest, I kind of stopped paying attention.

Wait, so why did this episode happen? What did we learn about the Winchesters that we didn’t know before? Are they closer to curing Dean of the Mark of Cain? But, what about the story arc? The consistent characterisation? The Chuck-damned continuity? Why did you title this episode after one of the most important novels about the Vietnam War???

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Yeah, Sam, I don’t know either.

-The Collectress

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11 thoughts

  1. I had no interest in this episode (Cole induces narcolepsy in me, sorry) but your snark has removed any glimmer of guilt I may have had in avoiding this one.

  2. Thank God! I am not the only one who didn’t like the episode! I don’t mind watching monster of the week episodes but it really irritates me when writers write episodes like this, totally predictable and kinda out of place..

    1. Yes! I like my MotW episodes, but when it hinders the forward motion of the overall season, I have to wonder why they included it at all. It didn’t feel like a SPN episode–it felt like a bad horror film. -TC

      1. Exactly. No one gives a rat’s ass about Cole. Charlie, however, is a beloved character. So why isn’t she in more eps? Granted, some of that may be down to scheduling, but still. Stop trying to make Cole happen. We dislike the character and were sick of him after the initial episode he was in. Why keep bringing him back? Enough already!

  3. Amen. What the heck was going on with this episode?

    By the way, I recently found this blog and I LOVE the Destiel recs. In fact, after Wednesday’s craptastic episode, I needed a Cas fix and went to your Tumblr list of recs and read me my first Demon!Dean fic. Yum. Thanks 🙂

    1. I’m so glad you enjoy our ramblings! Your comment made my day. Especially the fanfic recs–the Diva and I work hard to rec the best fics to represent our ships. 🙂

      I’m actually planning on updating the Tumblr lists soon, so keep your eyes open for that. And thank you, darling, for reading. We appreciate you. -TC

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