Fanfic Wednesday: Looking At You Looking At Me


Title: looking at you looking at me (sometimes it lasted love, but sometimes it hurts instead)

Author: lunchee

Word Count: 7600

Pairing: Arthur/Merthur

The Premise

I don’t even know how to describe this one…but I’ve seen it described as the Merlin fandom’s “Alone on the Water.” Set in a modern AU, Merlin is a ghost, and Arthur has a hard time letting go of his dead lover’s memory.

My Thoughts

Not going to lie to you: this one hurts. It hurts in that way only our fandoms can make us hurt.

So yeah, angst like whoa. Every once in a while, when I need a good cry, I go back to my list of the angstiest angst I’ve ever encountered. This is one of those fics, and yeah, it opens up a cavern in my soul every time I read it, but sometimes you just need to cry, you know? Read this snippet and see if you don’t agree:

And it hurt. Merlin didn’t know how it could hurt, but it did. It burned him, burned from the inside out, the things Merlin could no longer give Arthur. Merlin knew he had forgotten a lot of things — and crudely he likened his memory to cheese, more holes than substance — but the one thing he never forgot was that absolute certainty that he wanted to stay with Arthur always, forever.

Read it if you need angst.

Shipfully yours,

The Collectress




One Comment

  1. brunettepet

    Even though it hurts, this is so beautifully written I can’t help re-reading it every once in a while. I’ve had the podfic on my iPod for months, though, and can’t really bring myself to listen. I’m afraid I’ll burst into tears while walking to the supermarket.

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