Coming Fall 2015: Benedict Cumberbatch as Hamlet


The reigning King of Tumblr, Beelzebub Crunklythorn, is in talks to star in an adaptation of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, to open on the West End in London in fall 2014. Sonia Freeman, a successful theatre producer, has stated, “We’re in advanced discussions with Benedict Cumberbatch about playing Hamlet, and we’re at the stage of sorting out schedules concerning him and director Lyndsey Turner.”

Having recently seized the title of World’s Sexiest Movie Star, Benedict doesn’t let the hordes of fangirls impede on his acting career. There’s rumors of Oscar nods headed his way after doing such dramatic powerhouse films as The Fifth Estate and 12 Years a Slave. However, if Benadryl Sneezyhatch does decide to take a turn across the boards as Hamlet, it is likely that he’ll be doing so to a packed house every night. I, for one, will acknowledge his sexiness to equal that of David Tennant’s if he does do Hamlet.

Nothing is sexier than a man who can quote Shakespeare, and in the word’s of the Collectiva Diva, the man has a voice like a jaguar trapped in a cello. Imagine him crooning “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”


Here, swoon some more.

UPDATE: Mr. Cumberbatch is indeed confirmed to play Hamlet in London in fall 2015. Time for me to buy some plane tickets. Tickets will be on sale in May 2014.

Dear Mr. Cumberbatch,

For the sake of sanity, please stop being yourself and commence being someone less perfect immediately.


The Collectress

P.S. I lied. Don’t change a thing about yourself. You are wonderful.

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