Hemlock Grove: A Dirty Pleasure

Cr: Wikipedia

Most people haven’t heard of Netflix’s original series, Hemlock Grove. 

I started watching it because I was sick, I’d watched every episode of Supernatural, and anything was better than trying to slough my way through A Feast for Crows. I’m seven episodes in; if you asked me the plot, I couldn’t begin to explain it to you. Yet I keep watching. I love it. It’s trashy and creepy and bloody and sexy in a way that I haven’t encountered since Dark Shadows. 

Sorry, Johnny Depp, even you couldn’t save the hot mess of a remake.

The show doesn’t really have any kind of coherent plot, but as I go through season 1, I find myself not caring one flying rat’s ass over another. This would shock the hell out of most everyone I know, because I’m a veritable writing snob–the Draco Malfoy of creative writing–and I scorn anything less than purely fantastic. In fact, the show is ridiculous. TV Guide points out the 20 Most Absurd Moments on the show, and yet I still find myself looking forward to the next episode. Why?

Well, first of all…

Meet, Bill Skarsgard, Vampire Eric Northman’s baby brother. I call him “Baby Skarsgard”

I’m a sucker for Swedish men. Particularly Swedish men who are tall former-Marines who play undead Vikings in Louisiana. Baby Skarsgard has the quintessential broody pout of the Swedish man. I could stare at this all day. And then swoon all night.

But, Hemlock Grove isn’t only full of vampire-siblings, it also has the most disgusting werewolf transformation you will ever see. Ever. No, really, watch this clip.

The over-the-top gore is disgusting, revolting, and addicting. It’s tongue-in-cheek and doesn’t try to be anything other than ridiculous. I love television that doesn’t take itself too seriously *cough* Vampire Diaries *cough*. And in addition to Baby Skarsgard, excessive blood, Hemlock Grove also has the worst affected British accent currently on the silver screen, courtesy of Famke Janssen.

Oh, there’s also a new potential ship sailing between Peter the Werewolf and Baby Skarsgard.

It’s a tale as old as time…vampire…werewolf…too many intense heterosexual gazes…

My little goth-soap-opera-loving heart is thrilled that Netflix is bringing this one back around for a second season. I’m even more thrilled that I’m still sick enough to justify staying home and marathoning the rest of the first season.

-The Collectress

Disclaimer: I own none of these images or video clips. Or Hemlock Grove.