My Ben-addiction: Confessions of a Cumberb****

Your arguments are invalid.
Your arguments are invalid.

So Benedict Cumberbatch. Where do I begin? It’s different, with Benny. He’s been creeping slowly into my veins since I first saw him bumbling around with Martin Freeman on Sherlock. Suddenly, I’m searching him on YouTube, watching interviews and red carpet appearances and correcting my friends and family when they pronounce his name wrong. Then, I’ve seen every film, commercial, sitcom, television series he’s been in. That quirky smile, the ginger hair, the voice that sounds like a jaguar purring inside of a cello, the fact that he doesn’t take himself too seriously, that he wants kids and every leading lady he works with ends up gushing about Benedict and what a great dad he will be and Ben is just so sweet. The fan girls (and boys), we swoon over him in an overly dramatic, teen angsty sort of way, regardless if we hold PhD’s in Comparative Literature or not. The thing is, Benedict is a legitimately talented actor not to mention his bloody gorgeousness sneaks up on you. He’s my tall, lanky alien boy that I just want to keep in a gilded cage so he can read Keats to me as we drink tea in the late afternoon (well that was specific).

Benny reading Keats. Gilded cage not included.

So then, there’s Johnlock. THE COLLECTIVE SHIPS JOHNLOCK all day, every day. Personally, I like the dirty stuff. I can’t help it. If I am going to read fanfic, I like it fairly obscene and NSFW; I mean, stuff I’ve got to read on the incognito page of my phone. A Cure for Boredom? YES, PLEASE. 256,000 words of pure smut with a little bit of Sherlock and John deducing a case? Can’t get much better than that. How must if feel to know that there are hundreds, dare I say, thousands of pornographic facfics floating around the internet about you??

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Even more than Johnlock, though, I ship myself and Benny. Honestly, I ship the CumberCollective as a whole. I ship the idea that the world is falling in love with my man Benny, because I’ve been in love with him since I laid eyes on him. I ship Benny and the fandom, because he loves us and understands us. I ship Benny and Tumblr and Benny and Martin and Benny and Chris Pine and Benny and his red hair. Is it possible to ship one person or is that called “obsession”?

No shit, Sherlock.
No shit, Sherlock.

Either way, 2013 has been exciting for Cumberbitches all across the globe. So much Benny! With Star Trek, The Hobbit and nonstop Sherlock buzz, Benny is Hollywood’s newest British sensation. The beauty of it is, Benny knows about us and so does the media. Almost every Star Trek: Into Darkness interview or Hobbit soirée, Benedict is asked about the fandom, the Tumblr devotees, Johnlock and the memes, to which he giggles and blushes and we all melt into steaming piles of fangirl.

Benedict talks the CumberCollective with Graham Norton, 2013

I can’t get enough of this guy. I want him to ship Johnlock, read audio books, do theatre, be the bad guy and wear out the buttons on the purple shirt of sex until he dies at the ripe old age of 1000 years old in my arms somewhere in the English countryside. I promise you, Benedict Cumberbatch can call me one of his bitches any day.

How 3rd wave of me.

He's in Atonement. Look it up.
He’s in Atonement. Look it up.

TCD

10 Comments

  1. zombiebuff

    I finally got around to watching War Horse this last weekend. While I loved the movie, at the end all I could think was “What happened to Benedict?!” We see him get captured and that’s the last we see of him. Was he a POW, did they kill him? What the FUCK happened to him?

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